32-year-old single mom refuses to let 35-year-old boyfriend parent her kids even though he pays for their rent and food, he agrees to back off if she starts covering her own kids' bills: "Obviously, she was angry"

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    AITAH for telling my GF she needs to pay rent for her kids?

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    AITAH for telling my GF she needs to pay rent for her kids? So back story my (M34) and gf (32F) have been dating for 2.5 years and living together for about 13 months. We
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    moved to a different state for her to go to college. So we both had to get new jobs, I found one off the bat. She took a couple months to find something. So I started
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    H
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    paying for everything. Eventually she came around and started paying for groceries. But she doesn't have money for anything else. She does have a couple of kids. So she has
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    them full time and the father doesn't pay any child support. I mean I make pretty good money but I don't feel I should be paying for everything. Plus she decided not to go to college any more.
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    Anyway, we were out to dinner the other night and I forget exactly how the topic came up but it had to do with her kids. I
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    guess I was giving advice when that wasn't my intention. I thought we were just talking about issues. Anyway, she proceeded to tell
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    me how I'm not a parent and I have no room to talk and that I need to leave the parenting to her. So I told her that if that's the case she
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    should pay rent for her kids then. (We have a three bed room unit and while we are both on the lease I'm paying for it). I told her it would be about $900 a month on account of
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    that's about $475 per room. Obviously she was angry. Eventually we got past that, but I started thinking maybe I was out of line. So was I TAH?
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    NTA Proper_Fun_977 IF you're taking on parental responsibilities, you have a say in the parenting. Or, she can pay for her kids.
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    Dizzy-Lie-2488 Exactly. Can't have it both ways either you're a partner with input or she handles it all, including the rent.
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    Rent Due
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    aziaz765 You don't get to dump all the responsibility on someone and then say "you don't get a say!" either step up yourself or be okay with someone else setting boundaries. you can't have it both ways.
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    Ornery_Old_Dude If she doesn't consider you a parent or male figure in her kids life you aren't responsible
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    to pay for them. She needs to get a job and pay for half the expenses, including rent and food. Otherwise kick her to the curb and find someone who isn't an a hle.
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    Fluffy-Scheme7704 Half? Those kids probably use more utilities and food than him...
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    Glum_Computer1963 NTA, sounds like she's using you for a free ride. Who's to say she isn't getting CS for 2 kids?!? You're not privy to all her info.
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    HolyDarknes117 Bro WHY are still in this relationship?!?! She is using you to pay for everything while she doesn't even have job to provide for her own kids!
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    johnnycarrotheid You are getting played You move for HER college, and she isn't going, that's a massive flag that it could be
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    for other reasons. Isn't earning enough to pay anything other than basic groceries, how much does she work?
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    NTA bookworm-1960 You turned your life upside down to move so she could go to college. You covered all living expenses while she looked for a job.
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    Presumably, she found one, but instead of covering at least half of the expenses, she is only paying for groceries. Plus, the whole reason you moved, so she could go to college, is forgotten/ignored.
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    She doesn't want you to have any say regarding her children but expects you to totally pay for their life except for food. Basically, she is using you as an ATM to support herself and her children.
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    epee4fun40291 You are either roommates or a family. She doesn't get it both ways. If you are paying for everything like a dad, then you get dad rights as well as the responsibilities.
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    FtmGoodboigamer NTA. Plain and simple. You are the boyfriend. Not the stepdad. Even if you were. It is not your responsibility to pay for this woman and her kids life. It's hers. No matter what y'all do. It's hers.

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